It happens at least two or three times a day. The phone will ring and as soon as I answer, the voice on the other end will rudely interrupt me saying, "This is an important call, please do not hang up." Before I can say anything else, the pleasant-voiced being on the other end of the line will go into a sales pitch about how I need to extend the warranty on my car, or I need to improve my website's listing on Google, or any one of a dozen other items that must receive my immediate attention. There's a name for such calls – robocalls. I think they call them robocalls because it's not really a person on the other end of the call, but a cleverly disguised robot with a pleasant voice.
Most of the time, when one of my dear fellow co-workers answer the phone, only to be subjected to one of these calls, they simply hang up. I personally consider simply hanging up to be a waste of a grand opportunity to have at least a little bit of fun. I can only imagine the level of entertainment derived by my co-workers when they hear me answering the pleasant-voiced being with, "Gosh, I didn't even know you knew I had a vehicle. I don't have an extended warranty and probably would not have the need for one, but I do appreciate you calling. Would you be interested in a subscription to our newspaper?" I do admit, I've not sold very many newspaper subscriptions this way, but I figure if they are going to call and try to sell me something, the least I can do is return the favor.
It's not just limited to the telephone either. Quite often, I will receive email messages trying to sell me some kind of product or service. You can probably call these "robo-emails." I can understand the occasional "We can help your business increase the effectiveness of your website" message. But it goes far beyond that. I recently received an email from someone in China wanting to be our supplier of plastic bags. Now, I'm sure that this person's plastic bags are some of the best plastic bags anyone could want. I also know that there is a market for plastic bags. (I happen to use plastic bags quite often when checking out at the grocery store. I used plastic bags even more often when I had a dog.) But, I have often wanted to respond to Mr. Plastic Bag Salesperson with three simple questions: 1. "Why would you think that a newspaper publishing business would be interested in purchasing plastic bags?" 2. "Why would you think that I am the best person with whom to speak when attempting to sell your plastic bags?" 3. "Would you like to buy a newspaper subscription?"
One of these days, I have every confidence that I will sell one of these newspaper subscriptions. Now, if I can just find a place to put all these crates of plastic bags that were just delivered.