Rick Patrick
Columnist
I am always on the lookout for something funny. As you know, I am always willing to share what I find humorous with all of you. I have had many requests since that last time I shared some things I thought were funny, but I am going to share more with you, anyway. Admittedly, some of the things I find funny may cause others to just roll their eyes. But, even when I see those eyes roll, I find it funny. So, you can imagine what my co-workers must endure on a regular basis. In the spirit of generosity that is frequent during this time of year, I will share with you some of the “eye rolling” humor I have discovered in recent days. I don’t claim any of these to be completely original material, just as I don’t claim any of these to be completely funny; but I enjoy them. (Prepare eye rolls now)
• A well-known food company is planning to open a huge cheese factory in the Middle East. It’s going to be called “Cheeses of Nazareth.”
• It can put a whole new spin on the game of hockey if you think of it as being a bunch of guys fighting over the world’s last Oreo cookie.
• Do you know why seagulls never fly over the bay? Because then, they would be “bagels!”
• I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I wonder which one will come first.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A “gummy bear!”
• What do you call a dog that can’t hear? It doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come.
• I tried to play piano by ear; it’s much easier to use hands.
• Someone tried to tell me nothing rhymes with orange. I told them, “No, it doesn’t.”
• Do you know the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
• What does a cloud wear under its raincoat? Thunderwear!
• I just heard about a restaurant they opened on the moon. It has great food, but no atmosphere.
• Someone once asked me how many apples grow on a tree. I said, “All of them.”
Hopefully, at least one of those brought about at least a chuckle. If you’re still in need of something to laugh at, you can always do what I do and simply look in a mirror.
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