Every morning, I listen to the preaching of Joyce Meyer; either on satellite, YouTube, or CDs and DVDs.
A few days ago, I listened to one of her sermons titled "Loving Yourself."
She preaches on that subject often, and I love hearing it. For we are not able to truly love others if we don't truly learn to love ourselves, first.
On this particular morning, while I listened to her sermon, I remembered an old column I had written many years ago about how I grew up not feeling like "a normal woman."
I pulled that old column up on my computer and re-read it. It brought back all the memories of the years and years of torment I put myself through, in my younger years, trying to be someone that I wasn't. For years I thought something was wrong with me and I tried my hardest to be like "other women."
There's something to be said for that old adage "with age comes wisdom" for I have learned a lot in my "old age."
And my wisdom grew from this…
I went through my 20's trying to be a "normal woman." I'm not quite sure what I thought a "normal woman" should be, but I just felt that I didn't match that mold.
Growing up, as a young girl and teenager, I worked on my Dad's farm and in the newspaper business. I didn't stay home and learn to cook, clean, and sew; I got up early every morning (and/or after climbing off the school bus) and learned how to brand cows, plant pine trees, hoe, pick vegetables, can vegetables, sell advertising, type, layout a newspaper, and run a printing press. When my Dad said, "C'mon boys," that meant me too.
So, there I was at 20 years old, out on my own, and suddenly felt "un-womanly." I could put in an 80-hour-week with the best of them but didn't know how to do anything but boil eggs and put a pizza in the oven.
I quickly learned how to cook Hamburger Helper and learned to cook it often. To this day I hate Hamburger Helper; I cooked it so much back in those days I could go the rest of my life and never eat it again.
One day, I went grocery shopping with a friend and as we traveled the aisles and put things in our carts, I came to the Hamburger Helper, and of course put several boxes, of different flavors, in my cart. She said to me (in a condescending voice), "You cook that?" "Yes," I said (unaware there was something wrong with that.) To which she replied, "I don't cook anything that comes in a box." To which my reply was, "I can't cook anything that doesn't come in a box."
I had another friend back in those days, who painted and made shirts. They were beautiful. She made several for me and even some for my mom. So, I decided one day I should learn how to make shirts, for that seemed "womanly." I went to a local store and bought all the paint, brushes, glitter, and t-shirts. I made ONE shirt and realized how that was not fun to me and not how I wanted to spend my time.
I then tried to learn to sew; but found that sewing was not my "thing" either. I didn't understand patterns and got aggravated just by trying to follow the directions. The end results of my sewing projects were never pretty.
One day, in my mid-thirties, we (the mothers) were all handed patches to sew on our daughter's "Babe Ruth Little League" softball shirts. Several of my friends, who knew me well, offered to sew Cheltsie's on for me. I politely declined, for I should be able to do this; I was, in fact, her mother and a woman. I sat in bed for two hours, near tears, sewing that darn patch on that sleeve, but finally got it on. It didn't look as nice as the other children's patches; but it was sewn on there. (But, you better believe when the next year rolled around and someone offered to sew Chelsie's and Brooke's patches on, I absolutely jumped at the chance and let them do it).
I think my younger years hoeing, picking, shelling, and canning vegetables ruined me from ever wanting to grow my own garden; and a Daylily is the only flower I can plant and it actually survives.
I have learned to cook through the years (and cook almost every night); and actually do enjoy it to an extent. However, I don't like to bake, don't enjoy baking, and I don't bake anything "difficult." Although… I can make a mean brownie (out of a box).
I don't want to grow my own food; I would rather buy it from a store or go to a restaurant and let someone serve it to me. I don't want to make my own clothes; I would rather go to a store and buy them.
But, with the wisdom I've gained in my old age, I've learned that God gives each of us our own strengths and weaknesses. He doesn't make us good at everything. It is up to each one of us to determine what our strengths and weaknesses are and then to go forth and utilize what we have been given.
I might not be a "normal woman," but I've decided that's ok. I've learned that I don't need to be "normal." I am who I am, and am happy with that.
Growing up I was taught to work. To this day, I would rather work than sit on my couch and watch T.V. doing nothing. I would rather be up washing clothes, doing dishes, organizing a closet, riding motorcycles, or cleaning the pool, than sitting and watching T.V.
I can balance a checkbook to the exact penny, and then pinch that penny ‘till there's no copper left; and I can make a monthly budget and stick to it. While I have to ask my friends to hem my slacks, I have friends asking me to help them come up with a household budget and/or help them learn how to balance a checkbook.
I can type 75 wpm correctly, I have good English and grammar skills (although I do make mistakes, just in case you're proof-reading this column as you go), and I work hard at everything I do.
The important thing in life is for us to learn to love ourselves for who we are and for who God made us to be. We should quit concentrating on our weaknesses and concentrate on our strengths.
If your God-given weakness (such as gardening or singing) is a three (on a scale of 1-10) and you try hard every day to perfect it, you might bring it up to a five. However, if your God-given strength (such as cooking, bookkeeping or playing the piano) is a seven, and you concentrate on it and practice to perfect it, then you can bring it up to a nine or ten. I believe that is God's true hope and desire for us; quit concentrating on the bad and start concentrating on the good.
Quit wishing you were like someone else or more of a "normal" person; but instead learn to fully become what God made you to be! Because truth be known, that same person is looking at you and probably wishing they were more like you.